It has been approximately three months since I went to India. I thought as time went on, it would become easier for me to write this blog post. I'm not sure how I managed to convince myself of that, because I know better. But, regardless... I've sat down at this keyboard so many times, and every time I've given up. I've come back to a draft and reread, tweaked or just entirely deleted everything I had written. Because, really, how in the world am I supposed to express a ten day God experience on the other side of the world in a blog post? Just simply trying to explain all of the new experiences (sights, smells, sounds, tastes!) is overwhelming, not including the radical and supernatural spiritual elements of the journey- which are even harder to put into words!
But now, as I'm preparing my heart to leave for Nepal (in less than a month! eep!) I'm realizing, more than ever, how my experience in India has dramatically changed the filter through which I see our world. And when I think of it that way, this doesn't seem so overwhelming. Memories, prayers and thoughts of India come to me daily. The things that stuck out to me the most, the things that changed me, the things that are still changing me. Those are the things that I want to share with you.
So many strange sights, sounds and smells in India. Some of my favorites are the traffic, the smoke and the spices! The air is constantly full. The honking of car horns, incessantly. The smoke and spices and odors all fighting for a chance to be experienced.The charge of excitement in the air, the constant chaos. Never have my senses been so overwhelmed, and I loved every second of it.
Peace was so clear to me in India- because amongst the chaos when His peace would flood my heart and soul, there was no doubt. A picture that I hope will forever last in my mind, this example of living in the world but not being of the world. (John 15:19
If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you. ) My body was there, in a manual jeep, hurtling through the streets, stop and go, dodge a cow, dodge a kid, oh hey look a motorcycle. But my soul, heart and mind would just check out. I would catch myself, amongst the chaos, resting in His embrace. Relaxing, praying and worshipping. I am in the world, my body has no choice. But my soul, I can choose to rest in His hands- in His peace. 1 Corinthians 14:33 "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace--as in all the congregations of the Lord's people."
And logistics. Oh, logistics. How I adore logistics. I love that God is a God of order. Only problem for me is that sometimes I forget to let His order be the only order in my life. I want to stick to the schedule. I want to do the gospel presentation step by step in the completely correct order. I want this blog post to be uniform and have key points. And, well, sometimes that's not what God wants. Acts 1:8 tells us that we "will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you". And for that, we have to be completely willing to let the schedule fly right out the window. 'Cause let me tell you, He has it worked out way better than I could ever dream of planning it. So maybe I was going to that house next, but now I'm staying at this one and praying. Or maybe I was going to tell a certain part of my testimony, but now I'm going to tell another part instead. All because the Spirit led me too. Other humans may think it's frivolous, to me it's a lot like "trust falling". But no matter the scenario, even when I'm scared to speak up- afraid that I will look stupid or fail- when I follow where He is leading, He never drops me.
I have never in my life felt so honored to be allowed to participate in something. When it comes down to reality, every little detail of my body ending up in India was orchestrated by our Creator. I didn't just spontaneously choose India... God led me to it. I didn't just end up with the team members that I did by random chance... God specifically chose them. I didn't just have financial support fall from the sky... God placed it upon other's hearts to give! Sometimes we speak of God's "masterpieces" as things that have already taken place. But all of these little details that He's put in my life are part of a giant masterpiece. They are the details, the colors, the lines and swirls that He is splashing onto the canvas of my life. God didn't need me to go to India. He doesn't NEED anything from us. He CHOSE me. He wanted to steal my heart. To teach me. To add some extra colorful dashes and dots onto my canvas. And He wants the same for each and every one of us. The beauty of His grand design is that we are each unique. We each need to be loved differently. Whatever steals my heart, won't necessarily steal yours. This was what it took for Him to woo me, to capture my heart- and because He loves us all equally, He has a grand plan, a canvas- just for you. He pursues each of our hearts in the way that is unique to how we each need to be loved, so He can love us- and we can love Him back. I tell you, Yesu (Jesus) is quite a romantic.
And still, despite this beautiful truth, we seek other things to quench our desires for happiness. He explains to us in Romans 1:20-22 "For His invisible attributes, that is, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen since the creation of the world,
being understood through what He has made.
As a result, people are without excuse. For though they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God or show gratitude. Instead, their thinking became nonsense, and their senseless minds were darkened. Claiming to be wise they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man, birds, four-footed animals and reptiles."
We have allowed the things of the world to cloud our minds in darkness and deceive us. In India, there are these little orange flags everywhere. When someone explained to me what they represent, I was shocked. These flags were everywhere! Varying sizes, but all orange. And they all represent one thing- idol worship. There could literally be a flag in the middle of a field, and when asked, you would hear a story such as "well my great grandfather saw a sparrow with a purple feather fall from the sky and land here, so now we worship this place." They worship anything and everything. We are all created to serve the Creator. But if it is not clear to us Who that is, then we will worship countless things in vain, trying to fill the void. I was so devastated by all of these flags! Who could possibly have so much false worship in their life? Who could possibly live with such vain imagination? And then I came back to America. Our country is smothered in these "little orange flags." Reality check- we would all be better off in India with our idol worship clearly labeled with bright orange flags than sitting here in America with our major life problems and idol worship camouflaged as the norm. Ephesians 5:14
“Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”
On that note, my very favorite moments in India were getting to see these dead hearts find life in their Savior! Oh, I have so many stories! One of my favorite thoughts from the trip was shared by a team member on our last day. To paraphrase, they basically said that we go on mission trips and we hope to see something really exciting such as someone having a demon cast out or someone being healed of a disease. (I did get to see a paralyzed woman healed and that was amazing!) but regardless, we are sharing the ultimate Healer with them! No matter if they are healed of their disease when we leave- if they have found Christ then they have found the Way, the Truth, and the Life! NOTHING could heal them more completely than that.
Our team was privileged to witness 886 people accept Christ as their personal Lord and Savior during our time in India. Those people then grouped together to form 65 established "home churches" so that they could carry on discipleship ministries with those we had trained alongside us daily (our nationals and translators).
"Worthy is The Lamb Who was slain! Worthy is The King Who conquered the grave!"
Psalm 63:1
God, You are my God; I eagerly seek You.
I thirst for You;
my body faints for You
in a land that is dry, desolate, and without water.
God is in control,
-SaraKate
